Lesson 2 Notes

Notes from Sister Bowen—Week 02 Mon–Sat

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Lesson 2:

Reflecting on Last Week, Revving Up For This Week:

 

Things to Remember:

1. You will complete your second major course project--the synthesis essay--this week as we work through lessons 2 and 3.  The synthesis essay asks you to pose a question tied to the essays we've read thus far in the course and then draw on those essays to answer your question.  This essay really has two purposes:  First, it asks you to explore a question sparked by what you've read--to find your own focus in the material we've read thus far.  Second, it asks you to synthesize several different sources--to find connections between them--as you provide an answer to your question. You may use any articles you have been assigned to read so far for the class.
2. You do not need to do additional research to complete this essay.  You do need to draw on at least three essays we've read for class.  You'll find complete assignment guidelines in Lesson 2>Prepare: Assignment: Writing a Synthesis.  Review them carefully.
3. Remember, you can draw on the issue questions you gathered for your Academic Skills Portfolio to find a focus for your synthesis.  One of the questions you have already identified may make the perfect issue question for this essay.
4. During Lesson 2, you'll also participate in your small group Is Google Making us Stupid? (Discussion Board). You'll need to make your first post on the discussion board by Tuesday, August 6th, at 11:59 pm. Then, you'll have until Wednesday, August 7th, at 11:59 pm, MST, to respond to your group mates. You won't be able to create a substantive post on Tuesday unless you have completed the readings for the week, so read your homework ASAP. Check the Schedule to see all the deadlines this week.
   
5. Remember to take your Lesson 2 Reflection Quiz by the Wednesday night deadline.

Quick Tips for Success

1. Start working on your essay as quickly as possible.  You post a draft for feedback on Thursday, August 8th, in Lesson 3, and your final Synthesis paper will be due on Saturday, August 10th.
2. Pay close attention to the Focus on Writing  section of this lesson.  There you'll find a drafting tool (I-Analysis) that will help you organize your synthesis essay.  You'll also find a sample I-Analysis prepared by a FDENG 201 student and the essay he wrote based on that analysis.  Reading that sample essay should give you a good feel for how you can approach this assignment.
3. Your Reference page will be incredibly easy to create because of the "Citation Information through Lesson 3" page in Lesson 2. But you will need to review APA in-text citations on your own, using the Course>Resources page and "Research Writing Simplified" as guides.

Good luck during this lesson, and write about something that matters to you!

Love,

Sister Bowen

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Q & A

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Students may use this space to post questions or comments about things relevant to this week’s lessons.

Lesson 1 Notes

Dear Class,

Welcome to Lesson 1. You made it through the Introduction Lesson! I will grade your Intro lesson material by this Saturday evening. You do have several assignments due by Saturday night, but the one worth the most points is the Academic Skills Portfolio. Here is the rubric for the assignment:

 

Grading criteria for 'Academic Skills Portfolio'

Max Score	Description
10	The portfolio includes four accurate PTIC analyses. Each analysis includes these elements: author, author credential, title, purpose, topic, issue, and conclusion.
5	The portfolio includes 15 issue questions inferred from assigned class readings.
10	The portfolio includes a paraphrase of a 150-word passage from one of the assigned class readings. The paraphrase accurately translates the original passage into the writer’s own language.
5	The portfolio includes a 250-word summary of a substantive essay assigned for class.
5	The summary begins with a statement of the author’s main point and accurately reflects the content of the original essay.
5	The summary is coherent. It clarifies relationships among key points and is not merely a list of ideas.
5	The summary is technically correct. It is objective, cast in the present tense, and well edited.
5	The portfolio’s format and presentation are appropriate for college work (typed with standard margins, fonts, double spaced, etc.) and adheres to APA paper formatting. The portfolio has virtually no errors in the conventions of standard edited English (spelling, punctuation, grammar).
Total: 50

Category:

Include

 

Please watch this video I created to help you navigate successfully through Lesson 1. Additionally, I created this video to show you how I grade Academic Skills Portfolios using the rubric. I have attached the Academic Skills Portfolio sample essay from the video below. I promise that watching these videos will be well worth your time; I hope they will help you complete lesson content and get a great score on your Academic Skills Portfolio. Just picture the content in my "Notes From Sister Bowen", along with my emails and announcements, as my "lecture at the front of the class" time. I look forward to helping you and cheering you on every step of the way.

 

Good luck, and have faith that you can do a great job on the Academic Skills Portfolio! Please check the course schedule to make sure you have done everything required before checking out for the weekend.

 

Love,

Sister Bowen

Intro Lesson Notes for FDENG 201 Summer

Dear Class,
Please click on my Introduction Lesson video here to see what is expected of you between Monday and Wednesday this week. I'll posts videos at the start of every lesson to help you see what you'll be doing. Remember to put headphones on if you're in a computer lab, or if you're trying not to disturb anyone! If you have trouble accessing the video, please contact the Online Support Center at 208-496-1800.
Do your very best in our class, and remember to push yourself! I will be the happiest person on earth if every one of us commits to do our very best this semester, and we all do it! I'm excited to have just one class this semester. I usually have two classes, plus I usually oversee  a group of instructors. So this semester, though fast-paced, will be fantastically "light" for me. I hope you're also enjoying a lighter load on your shoulders this semester, and I hope you are up for the challenge of putting 18-24 hours into this class per week.
Between Monday and Wednesday, plan on devoting 9 or more hours to the class. Between Thursday and Friday, plan on devoting another 9 hours. The class will run pretty smoothly as you complete each lesson's tasks within the three allotted days. The course content in FD-Eng 201 is worth your sincere effort and time.
Good luck during this Intro Lesson, and I hope you love the readings.
 Sincerely,
Sister Bowen

Lesson 12 Notes

Dear Class,
We are almost there! I am so excited to read your drafts and begin reading your final essays this week. Here are some things to keep in mind as you work through the week:
1. Starting on Monday, please work through the assignments for the week. I won't provide class-wide feedback on drafts until Tuesday evening, so you'll have some good time on Monday and Tuesday to work through everything else required this week. Specifically,

• You may click on the "short assignment" referenced on the Lesson 12 Main Page to see what you will write during the Conclusion week.
• Work through the grammar quiz slowly. I may or may not have missed a few questions because I read the options too quickly:).
• The optional punctuation reading and optional essay are wonderfully worthwhile.

2. Please review my personal draft feedback and the class-wide feedback closely, and make sure you apply the suggestions that will strengthen your work.

3. I hope you will give your essay the attention it deserves this week. Remember, this personal narrative should demonstrate a few crucial things. It will demonstrate your ability to honor a rubric and produce a mechanically clean essay. If you can honor a rubric and produce clean copy, you are well prepared for your future writing classes. Additionally, your personal narrative, if crafted carefully and prayerfully, should demonstrate one of the most important experiences in your life. It's a part of you, and a part of your history. "The angels may quote from it" and your children and grand-children will know you better for what you have written. I hope you make this essay matter.

4. Finally, this is my last reminder to email me if you would like video feedback on your final personal narrative. I will happily provide video feedback if you request it.

5. Remember that your final essay must be submitted by the deadline on Saturday, July 20th.

I am here if you need me, and I am cheering you on every step of the way.

Love,

Sister Bowen

 

 

Natalie's Feedback

Welcome to Lesson 10 email

Dear Class,

As we come into the last few weeks of this semester, I know it can be hard to stay motivated. Don’t give up now! We have come too far. Now is the time to really push through and “endure to the end."  Elder Ashton reminds, us, “To become a winner in the race for eternal life requires effort –constant work, striving, and enduring well with God’s help. But the key is that we must take it one step at a time… In our race for eternal life pain and obstacles will confront all of us…How we handle these challenges determines whether they become stumbling stones or building blocks” (If Thou Endure it Well).

I want every challenge to be a building block rather than a stumbling block. But at times, it is hard to see how to orchestrate this. A few nights ago, I cuddled with my 4-year-old daughter in bed, and asked her how on earth I was going to grade 60 essays this week. We have had company staying with us since Friday evening because my husband's grandma passed away last week and the funeral was in town. My company won't leave until this next Friday, and then we're supposed to all go up to Island Park for a  family reunion. . . and then another family reunion in Minnesota. The world on my plate feels too heavy. My daughter wrapped her arms around me and suggested, "Just grade one essay, and then th'another essay, and then th'another essay, Mommy." She's so right. We can do anything line upon line.

I wish you the best this week as you work through our Lesson 10 materials. Believe me when I say we are entering a fun final unit of class. I encourage you to jump into class now and work as hard as you can to get everything done at the start of the week.

You are in my prayers and I am cheering for you. I can feel you cheering and praying for me too.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Lesson 10 Notes from Instructor

Dear Class,
Welcome to Lesson 10, which begins our final unit of the semester. You get three whole weeks to create a strong, unforgettable 2-3 page personal narrative. The pressure should slip from your shoulders a bit in this class now. You only have one essay "left" for the whole semester, and you already know so much about writing personal  essays. So please, enjoy this final unit.
This week, you'll probably want to get through assignments quickly so you can enjoy your 4th of July Weekend (if you are Canadian, you still deserve a relaxing end of the week!). Here are a few points to consider as you work through the lesson:

1. The Pronoun materials are excellent. I'd recommend avoiding "you" whenever you can, unless you are writing a letter to a specific person or group (like I am right now). Make sure to read the whole "Pronoun Problems" handout.
2. Unfortunately, there are problematic quiz questions again this week. I have submitted course fixes for the vegetarian question ["A vegetarian must eat plenty of legumes to make sure ____ is/are getting plenty of nutrients."] and the nurse question [""A nurse is on call 24/7 for whatever her patients might need."]. If Curriculum Development does not correct those questions at the start of the week, I will curve quizzes two points. Please let me know if you see any other debatable questions.
3. Enjoy the readings and Personal Narrative presentation and hand-out. You'll probably want to save the presentation and hand-out to examine later.
4. Because the Thursday night Pathway Gathering falls on the 4th of July, there will be no Pathways Gathering this week. I will excuse your Pathway attendance quizzes.

This week, I will grade Persuasive essays and provide feedback in videos. You will review your score on the rubric, and then simply click on the video link below your score to see my feedback.

Thank you for all of your wonderful work. So many of you have written about the sacrifices you have made to do well in the Pathway program, and I admire you all. This next few weeks should really feel lighter in this class.

You are in my prayers.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Welcome to Lesson 9 Email

Dear Class,
I had a special experience in Gospel Doctrine yesterday. We were doing the lesson "Seek Learning, Even By Study and Also By Faith" and my heart started pounding. I knew I had to talk about the Pathway program, and the way the Lord has provided a way for saints to get this special education while working, raising children and grandchildren, and fulfilling demanding callings in the Church. I felt like I was joining my voice to hundreds of saints throughout the world, sharing the same message--that God is showing His love for us by letting us be part of this strengthening program. If you're wondering what to study for your scripture study today, the link above will take you to some inspiring, motivating scriptures. I love and admire you for making Pathway a part of your life. I'm so glad I followed my spiritual promptings to teach for Pathway.
During Lesson 9, you get to keep revising and proofreading your draft, and ultimately submit your final persuasive essay by Saturday night. I have left detailed guidelines in the Lesson 9 Notes from Instructor, and I sent an email entitled "Draft Feedback" to you on Saturday night; it is mandatory reading, and I hope you will use it to guide your revisions. I'll post just a little additional feedback on your individual drafts by Tuesday night, but I suspect the "Draft Feedback" email will you keep you busy if you apply it truthfully to your own draft.
Thank you for all of your great work, for your sacrifices, and for your commitment to "endure to the end". You are my heroes, and I pray for you every day.
Love,
Sister Bowen

Lesson 9 Notes From Instructor

Dear Class,
Welcome to Lesson 9, wherein you will read strong articles, view important presentations, and revise and proofread your Persuasive essay (note my parallel structure). Your persuasive essay, worth 100 points, is one of the two most important assignments in this class because it is worth so many points. This essay is an opportunity to demonstrate all the skills you have learned from our class so far--it is a chance to show off! The persuasive essay rubric has been improved, so I'll use it to grade your work. Here it is:

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English 106: Persuasive Essay Rubric
1) The paper takes a position on a controversial issue by clearly stating the writer's position OR defines a clear problem or question that will be answered by a solution. The writer adequately establishes that the position or problem is one that should be considered by the reader. The paper adequately and appropriately considers opposing arguments. (20 points possible)
2) The position or solution is supported by reasons, examples, facts, case studies, personal experience, or other types of evidence. Supporting paragraph do not diverge from the paper’s main argument. (20 points possible)
3) The title is catchy and indicates the paper’s subject, and the introduction engagingly frames and focuses the position or problem, providing relevant background information. The conclusion reminds the readers where they’ve been, reconnects them to the introduction, and provides a strong finish. (20 points possible)
4) The body of the paper is coherent and unified, with each paragraph focused on one main idea. The body contains a logical argument with strong transitions between paragraphs, sentences, and ideas. (20 points possible)
5) The paper format includes Times New Roman, 12-pt font, double-spaced, one-inch margins (that is the default), and name and class information. Remember to give your paper a title. Page length requirement: 2-3 pages. (10 points possible)
6) The essay has few or no errors in the conventions of standard edited English (spelling, punctuation, grammar problems, or sentence structure errors). (10 points possible)

100 TOTAL

(*Note that the rubric calls for 2-3 pages; I won't count headers or Works Cited Pages toward that page count. You must send your final Persuasive essay as an attachment so I can assess your formatting.)

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Reading through and viewing the materials in this lesson should not take more than a few hours, so there will be plenty of time this week to revise and polish your essay. Have you sent it to the Writing Center yet? If not, do so now! A tutor's feedback can make such a difference. The revision and proofreading presentations give fantastic suggestions regarding how to strengthen your work as well.

By Tuesday evening, I will have read and made comments about your draft. Make sure to read those comments, and apply the suggestions that you feel will improve your essay.

Finally, I will go to Girls' Camp on Tuesday evening, and I will be offline through Thursday evening. If you have any pressing questions while I'm away, please contact my friend and fellow English 106 teacher Torri Black at blackt@byui.edu. She would be very happy to answer questions.

Thank you for all the great work you do.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Welcome to Lesson 8 Email

Dear Class,
This week will be demanding, as you will A) submit a persuasive essay draft by Wednesday night and B) prepare your FINAL persuasive essay for submission by next Saturday. Please jump into Lesson 8 today, make sure to read my "Notes From Instructor", and go forth to conquer. I will read your outlines and provide a little feedback on them by Tuesday morning.
I have read my scriptures, General Conference talks, and Eats, Shoots and Leaves (a punctuation book) with you in mind during the past week. I love and admire you for all the heart and hard work you have poured into this class. Here are some quotes about correction I'd like to share with you from Elder D. Todd Christofferson:
“If we are open to it, needed correction will come in many forms and from many sources..”
“It can be helpful to exercise enough meekness to weigh it and sift out anything that might benefit us.”
“Eventually, much of our chastening should come from within—we should become self-correcting.”  http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/04/as-many-as-i-love-i-rebuke-and-chasten?lang=eng
I have loved seeing you self-correct, and you inspire me to improve my own writing and understanding. Good luck this week--you are in my prayers.
Love,
Sister Bowen

Draft of Lesson 8 Notes

Dear Class,
Welcome to Lesson 8. Now that you have outlined your persuasive essay and begun drafting, you may be in a state a panic--you need to submit a draft by Wednesday night?! It's true, so you'll need to create your plan of attack. Will you:

1. Devote significant time to your essay at the start of the week, making it as complete as humanly possible, so A) your peer reviews will be meaningful in the Gathering, and B) you'll be able to spend the next week and a half strengthening and polishing your essay? or
2. Will you spend about an hour throwing a draft together (the Lesson 8 Main Page suggests that you spend 60 minutes writing your draft!) so you can check that requirement off and keep working, slow and steady, on your essay? The final persuasion essay will be due NEXT Saturday.

If I were in your shoes, I would create the plan that works best for your schedule. But here's something else to consider: I will grade your drafts for completion (full credit for submitting a draft, regardless of whether or not it meets rubric standards). But I will also offer a bit of feedback on every draft. The more complete your draft is, the better I can help you. Remember, this is the rubric I will use to grade your final persuasive essay:

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1. Thesis: The student takes a position on a controversial issue by clearly stating the position OR The paper defines a clear problem or question that can be answered by a solution. The student adequately establishes that the position or problem is one that should be considered by the reader.
2. Support: The position or solution is supported by sufficient, relevant, and balanced reasons, examples, facts, personal experience, and evidence. The information used is well-developed and well-researched. The paper adequately and appropriately considers opposing arguments.
3. Introduction, conclusion: The title is catchy and indicates the paper's subject and the writer's position. The introduction engagingly frames and focuses the position or problem, provides relevant background information, and states a specific thesis.  The conclusion ends powerfully, rather than fizzling.
4. Focus, organization: The body of the paper makes it really clear why the solution is feasible, or the position is reasonable. The body of the paper is coherent and unified, with each paragraph focused on only one main idea. The body contains a logical argument with strong transitions between paragraphs, sentences, and ideas. 
5. Grammar, mechanics, formatting: The paper format includes Time New Roman, 12-pt font, double-spaced, one-inch margins and the name and class information. Page length requirement: 2-3 pages. The essay has few or no errors in the conventions of standard edited English (spelling, punctuation, grammar problems, or sentence structure errors).

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Those are the most important things I wanted to share. But here are a few more things to keep in mind as you go through this lesson:

•  The "Elements of Persuasion" presentation from Lesson 7 is finally working. If you have not yet viewed the presentation, please click here to view it as part of your homework this week. It will help you build your essay.
•  Forgive the typo in the "Shifts in Time" presentation. The second sentence about the person going to fridge should read "Correct" instead of "Incorrect" (The handout doesn't have the typo.)
• I'm dropping these two quiz questions, but I will drop more if you see more problematic questions: 1. When the crashing sound stops, I can’t feel my hand. I look down and see that it’s covered with blood. The pain was unbearable, but I am able to pull myself out of the twisted metal. 2. We walked towards the box and flipped it over so we can get her dog. The dog was covered in bacon grease, but she barks happily anyway. We laugh together because the dog started to lick her paw like a cat does. I'm sure it tastes delicious.   **Read the quiz carefully so your eyes don't glaze over shifts.  

Sincerely,

Sister Bowen

Email at the End of Lesson 7

Dear Class,

I've graded everything you have submitted for class except your persuasive essay outlines. Will you please look in the gradebook to see your scores and my feedback on your most recent essays--and any prior work you haven't yet checked on? If you have any questions about your scores or my feedback, please email me about it. I want to help you.

Also, you need to submit persuasive essay drafts by this next Wednesday evening (June 19th). That means you don't have much time to get those drafts ready. I suggest reading the Lesson 8 Main Page and my newly updated "Lesson 8 Notes From Instructor" soon to help you prepare for Lesson 8.

Thanks so much for all your hard work!

Love,

Sister Bowen

Lesson 7 Notes

Dear Class,

Welcome to Lesson 7. This week, you do not need to submit a final essay! How will that feel? You get three whole weeks to prepare your persuasive essay, starting now. This week, you'll be working on an outline of your Persuasive essay. Here are some points to keep in mind as you work through Lesson 7:

• The Grammar Lesson is SO good this week.
• Some of the grammar quiz questions may seem debatable to you. Please email me any concerns you have regarding quiz questions. 
•  Note that you should respond to at least three of your peers in your Discussion Board this week (you are usually required to respond to two classmates).
• When you read the Persuasive Essay guidelines and examine the rubric, you may wonder why you get to either A) take a stand on a controversial issue or B) introduce a problem and justify an answer throughout your essay. In the past, students were asked to create problem-solution essays and persuasive essays. With the new course design, you get to choose whether to write a problem-solution essay or just take a stand on something. Stick with one approach, and then examine your work according to the guidelines specific for your approach. Here's the rubric I will use to assess your Persuasive essay (sorry for the imperfect formatting):  

•           Thesis: The student takes a position on a controversial issue by clearly stating the position OR The paper defines a clear problem or question that can be answered by a solution. The student adequately establishes that the position or problem is one that should be considered by the reader. The paper adequately and appropriately considers opposing arguments.
• Support: The position or solution is supported by sufficient, relevant, and balanced reasons, examples, facts, personal experience, and evidence. The information used is well-developed and well-researched. 
• Introduction, conclusion: The title is catchy and indicates the paper's subject and the writer's position. The introduction engagingly frames and focuses the position or problem, provides relevant background information, and states a specific thesis. 
• Focus, organization: The body of the paper proves more of the problem if needed, but makes it really clear why the solution is feasible. The body of the paper is coherent and unified, with each paragraph focused on only one main idea. The body contains a logical argument with strong transitions between paragraphs, sentences, and ideas. 
• Grammar, mechanics, formatting: The paper format includes Time New Roman, 12-pt font, double-spaced, one-inch margins and the name and class information. Page length requirement: 2-3 pages. The essay has few or no errors in the conventions of standard edited English (spelling, punctuation, grammar problems, or sentence structure errors).

 

 Good luck this week! I'd be happy to meet with any of you during my office hour to discuss your topic, and the Writing Center is also a great resource as you outline your first major essay for this class.

Love, 

Sister Bowen

Lesson 6 Notes

Dear Class,
Welcome to Lesson 6! I hope you're ready to reason through complicated dilemmas this week. As you prepare to go through the lesson, please note the following things:

• Please read the optional resource in the Grammar Lesson called "Avoiding Awkward Sentences." It will only take a few minutes to read, and it is well worth your time.
• Watch for debatable quiz questions again. I have submitted one course fix for a grammar quiz question, and I welcome emails addressing additional quiz concerns. I use your feedback when I consider which questions to drop, and which ones to present to Curriculum Development as "bad eggs".
• I hope you appreciate the reading assignments this week. Do yourself a favor and refuse to skim! Which article do you prefer? What makes one article better than the other--for you?
• The rubric for your essay this week has some typos and awkward phrasing. This is the rubric I will use to assess your Lesson 6 essay (like last week, my rubric is asking for the same things the other rubric requests, but I try to make the rubric clearer here):

Grading criteria for Lesson 6 Writing Assignment Final Draft

Max Score	Description
5	The student's first paragraph clearly demonstrates the problem and provides a clear answer in the thesis statement.
10	The student clearly supports the thesis in subsequent paragraphs through logic, experience, examples, and maybe even research.
5	The writer ends on a strong note, reinforcing the thesis and indicating the larger significance of this issue.
5	The presentation has been carefully crafted and edited. It uses Times New Roman, 12 point font and meets the length requirement of 1-1 1/2 pages (350 - 450 words).
Total: 25

•  There is no Thesis Statement guidance in Lesson 6, so please click here to review guidelines for thesis statements. The document will help you write a strong thesis statement.
• For some reason, the Mid-Course feedback is posted in this lesson again. You have already submitted your mid-course feedback, so you can ignore this.

Thanks for gutting out this intensive writing and reading class. I can't emphasize enough how well you are doing. Keep impressing yourselves--if you want to frame your work, or save it in a writing portfolio, you're on the right track!

Love,

Sister Bowen

Lesson 5 Email Regarding "This I Believe" essays

Dear Class,

 

I have graded all of your "This I Believe" essays and offered you all individual feedback. Please click on "My Grades" and see your score and feedback. As I move on to grade my other class's essays, here is some general feedback to keep in mind:

 

1) The average score for "This I Believe" essays was a 23. I don't share this to make you feel either brilliant, depressed, or "middle of the pack" but to demonstrate that you are not "alone" if you haven't been receiving perfect scores on your essays. I look at your essays in light of the assignment guidelines and the rubrics, and notice "distractions" that get in the way of a savory reading experience. I am so touched by your essays, and strengthened by what you write. Giving you a "23" does not mean I think your essay isn't good enough. It means that there are things in your essay that still need attention, in my opinion. (You can decide that my opinion is a bunch of bologna, of course:)).

2) As you proofread your work, try going through it looking for different "distractions" each time. For example, you can comb your essay once for comma use, then for singular/plural tense shifts, then for past/present tense shifts, then for wordiness. Then you can read it again for transitions, and for smooth wording. So much goes in to making writing great. I want you to feel proud of your polished work.

3) Look for outside help if you feel blind to your own grammar and punctuation errors. You may send your essays to the Writing Center and tell tutors exactly what you want them to look for. We're all blind to our own "motes"--getting outside help is critical. While the Pathway Gatherings are incredibly helpful to many of you, consider getting additional help as well.

4) Finally, after all of that--how are you doing maintaining balance in your life? Is this class taking over your life? If you are spending more than 12 hours on this class each week, consider how to spend less time on the course. What can you do? If you want to spend more time proofreading your work, but you are spending three hours on the comma rules, or several hours in discussion boards, can you rearrange your priorities?

I am here for you, I care for you, and I am praying for your success.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Welcome to Lesson 5 Email

Dear Class,

Some of you may be off having fun in the woods or at the beach, and/or honoring loved ones who have passed beyond the veil. But some of you are probably doing schoolwork today, like me. Remember that you still have Wednesday night deadlines like usual, so make sure to get going on classwork as soon as you can.

I worked hard to make my "Notes From Instructor" useful this week as you embark on technical writing for the first time in class (conducting research and analysis, rather than doing creative, memoir writing). Make sure you spend time in "Notes From Instructor" now, even if you glanced through it last week. I have made changes.

Finally, I found a verse in 1 Nephi 17 I wanted to share with you, as it relates to going forward with faith when life is challenging. Christ says, "And I will be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led toward the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led" (13).

I love seeing how the Savior protected and comforted Nephi on his journey to the promised land, and I know he will protect and comfort us as well.

I'm praying for your success and happiness.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Course-wide feedback on River Tooth Essays, Lesson 4

Dear Class,

I'll give you each individual feedback on your river tooth essays by the end of the week, but these are the things I wanted to share with you collectively right now:

 

1) Word length: Work to meet the length requirements. Many of you have written in your journals about how it is so hard to meet the length requirements. I understand how you feel!

A few days ago, I wrote a personal statement to go along with my application; I had a word length requirement to deal with, just like you do. I needed to demonstrate why I was the person for the job, and it was hard to do when I couldn't say everything I wanted to say. So I chopped and revised, and chopped and revised some more.

Also, I am helping my brother condense his personal statement for medical school. The same process is necessary: chop, revise; chop, revise. I understand that this is a difficult process. Do it anyway. It's like lima beans--very good for you. I took one point off river tooth essays that exceeded 500 words. From now on, I'll automatically deduct one point if an essay's word count is not within the specified length window--there will be no more extra 50 word cushion. For the "This I Believe" essay, and for all future essays, work to honor word length requirements. It will make you a more thorough, careful proofreader. I'm not trying to be mean; I just feel like you'll miss out on this challenging aspect of writing if you ignore the length requirements.

 

2) Titles: Please write titles for all of your essays. Think about them for a while, and select the "perfect" title for each piece. This is part of the writing process, and titles make your essays even better.

 

3) Commas: Keep reviewing comma rules. I have studied them for a lot of my life, and I am still not a comma master. To use commas with confidence, you'll have to keep reviewing the rules.

 

I am stunned as I read your beautiful writing. You will be ready for future English classes; you will be prepared to write important things as you serve in Heavenly Father's kingdom. Here is what Joseph Smith had to say about writing:

 

"The Art of writing is one of the greatest blessings we enjoy. To cultivate it is our duty, and to use it is our privilege. By these means the thoughts of the heart can act without the body, and the mind can speak without the head, while thousands of miles apart, and for ages after the flesh has mouldered [moldered] back to its mother dust. Beloved reader! have you ever reflected on this simple, this useful, this heavenly blessing! It is one of the best gifts of God to man, and it is the privilege of man to enjoy it" (Joseph Smith, published in The Evening and the Morning Star, September 1832).

 

I pray for your success and happiness! Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or insights after reading this.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Lesson 5 Notes from Instructor

Dear Class,

 Welcome to Lesson 5! We'll depart from personal essays this week, charting new territories in research writing. As I went through this lesson, I jotted down the following points to help you navigate through the lesson and have a good experience:

•  Watch for the missing word in the Writing Center tutorial regarding wordy sentences. If you catch it and email me about it, I'll add a point to your grammar quiz score this week! (Make sure you take the quiz before emailing me, so I can automatically add the point when I read your email.)
• Some of the quiz questions are debatable. Email me if you take issue with a quiz question, and tell me why you picked the answer you selected.
• Make sure to take notes on anything new you learn in the Paragraph and Development folder. Keep in mind that I will hold you accountable for the fantastic information shared in the presentations. I would strongly suggest reading the two additional resources in the Paragraph and Essay Development folder this week--The Transitions and Quotations sheets are very useful. 
• I don't like the current rubric for your Opinion and Response Essay, and I have submitted a request to revise the rubric course-wide. Here is the rubric I'd like you to use as you craft your essay. It calls for the exact same things as the original rubric, but the wording and organization is better on my rubric, in my opinion:

ENG 106 Opinion and Response Grading Rubric

5	The essay gives a clear, short summary.
5	The student quotes or paraphrases one or two key passages from the article in the summary.
10	The student clearly responds to the author’s points. The student discusses why he/she agrees or disagrees with the author's arguments.
5	The essay has been carefully crafted and edited. It uses Times New Roman, 12 point font and meets the length requirement of 1-1 1/2 pages (350 - 450 words). ***I will count your words from your title to the end of your paper. I will not count your header nor your reference as part of your word count.

•  The student sample is excellent. . .but you can only see the first page of the student's work. Take what you can from it, but don't forget to make your own essay 350-450 words long. Also, the sample essay is easier to read if you download the document.
• Here is a screencast that walks you through your experience reading materials on the "Opposing Viewpoints" website. Here is a screencast showing how to write your essay. I would encourage you to post the reference for the essay you discuss at the bottom of the page, like the professor does in her sample essay.
• Finally, please complete the Mid-Course Feedback. You will automatically get full credit for completing it when you follow the directions in the Mid-Course Feedback folder. I will use your feedback to guide my teaching, and I will also compile your course suggestions and submit them to Curriculum Development. I want this class experience to be as valuable for you as possible.

Keep up the fantastic work. I am praying for your success and happiness.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Welcome to Lesson 4 Email

Dear Class,

Good morning from Ammon, Idaho, where the sky shows patches of blue for the first time in three days! I'm excited to work with you this week.

 

Because Memorial Day weekend is coming up, I strongly recommend jumping into our class as soon as possible, and getting everything done as soon as you can. The deadlines are the same as always (on Wednesday and Saturday night), but I have made the Lesson 4 Weekly Report visible now, so you may complete it this week at any time. I don't mind if you give yourself credit for attending your Pathway meeting before you attend the meeting this week, as long as you go and participate fully.

 

Good luck with your "This I Believe" short essay. I hope you will share it with your loved ones after it is polished because it will represent who you are and what you believe.

 

Finally, I want to thank you for working so hard to write so well in this class. Our writing gifts can dim or burn out just like testimonies if we don't deliberately work to keep these gifts alive. I am so happy to see your efforts.

 

Love,

Sister Bowen

Lesson 4 Notes From Instructor

 
Dear Class,
Welcome to another week of studying important grammar rules, reading excellent writing, and writing about things that matter to you! I have reviewed the whole lesson as a "test student", and things look pretty smooth. I submitted a few minor course fixes that should be resolved at the start of this week (one bad quiz question and an incorrect link). Here are a couple things to keep in mind this week:

• You may gain more grammar and punctuation confidence by printing out the grammar sheets each week. A few students have done this, and it may be a good idea for all of us. One student plans to review her grammar lesson as she watches the grammar presentations. I also recommend going to Grammarbook.com for help with troubling grammar or punctuation rules. Do whatever works for you.
• Let's review the Grading and Feedback reminder presented on the Lesson 4 main page:Grading and Feedback: For the first six weeks of this course the short assignments will receive a minimal amount of feedback and critique from the instructor. If you want more extensive feedback you must email the instructor individually and make this request per assignment. Also, another great way to get detailed feedback is to use the online writing tutors.
  Please be patient and understanding as I attempt to provide "a minimal amount of [useful] feedback and critique". It was so fun to create video feedback for you last week, but it sent me way over hours again. I have decided not to provide video feedback except on your two major assignments (the persuasive essay and the personal narrative essay). With that said, I would be happy to review your work with you during my office hours between 8-9 pm, MT. Please feel comfortable emailing me about any questions, concerns, or requests you may have after reviewing your grades and feedback.
• Finally, I hope you are feeling wonderful about your hard work so far! I believe that you will be the top students in your English classes in the future as a result of the efforts you are putting in now. Keep up the fantastic work!

Love,

Sister Bowen

 

 

 

Additional note about river tooth essays, posted as announcement and in Lesson 3 Notes from Instructor

Dear Class,

A very wise student pointed out today that the "river tooth" essays we read this week are all pretty intense and traumatic. Please don't think that your river tooth essay ought to be traumatic.

 

The river tooth directions state, "Often 'river tooth' experiences are memories of scenes or short events with high emotional content. Your job is to write about your own 'river tooth' experience by simply describing the memory of a past life event. Convey the emotional impact it had on you. You do not need to reflect on the meaning of the event (you’ll do that for your personal essay). You are just capturing the imagery and emotional impact of the experience through detail and narration (story telling)."

 

As you write your essay, remember that you will have to share your essay with your peers at the Thursday Gathering, and with me. The wise student mentioned above writes that some students "may divulge ordeals that only bishops or trained therapists should hear. The first reading, about lust and trauma, plants in the mind images that could invite students to share abuse or other topics that are not appropriate to share in casual class settings."

 

So be prayerful as you decide what to write. You can write about something that had an emotional impact--and the emotional impact can be positive!

 

I know I've bombarded you with marathon stories, but describing how I felt at the finish line of my marathon would be an absolute pleasure. Look at me: I'm not doing anything for anyone--I am pure happy. Describing that moment in detail would meet the river tooth requirements, and it would be fun to write. If you are concerned about the content of your essay, will you please email me? I want this to be a good experience for all of us.

Love,

Sister Bowen

Welcome to Lesson 3!

Dear Class,
Good morning! This week is river tooth week, and I know your essays will be memorable. River teeth are basically the memories that won't wash away from your mind--they are still preserved with sharp detail. I love the content in this lesson, and I hope you will as well.
I want to share a river tooth moment from the scriptures that has always stood out to me. When Joseph Smith was a prisoner in Liberty Jail, he begged to know," O God, where art thou? . . How long shall thy hand be stayed? . . Yea, O Lord, how long shall [thy people and servants] suffer these wrongs and unlawful oppressions, before thine heart shall be softened toward them, and thy bowels moved with compassion toward them?"(Doctrine and Covenants 121: 1,3).
 Then, Heavenly Father comforts Joseph, beginning with, "My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment" (7).
 He comforts Joseph for several pages, but these specific details stand out to me: "If thou art accused with all manner of false accusations; if thy enemies fall upon thee; if they tear thee from the society of thy father and mother and brethren and sisters; and if with a sword thine enemies tear thee from the bosom of thy wife, and of thine offspring, and thine elder son, although but six years of age, shall cling to thy garments, and shall say, My father, my father, why can't you stay with us? O, my father, what are the men going to do with you? and if then he shall be thrust from thee by the sword, and thou be dragged to prison, and thine enemies prowl around thee like wolves for the blood of the lamb. . .know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good" (Doctrine and Covenants 122:6-7).
 This river tooth description of Joseph being torn from his family is so vivid, and it shows that Heavenly Father has always had a softened heart, and complete compassion for His children. He sees what is going on, and He loves us dearly.
 I hope that our course will "give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good."
 I am thankful for you and pray for you every day.  Good luck this week!
 Love,
Sister Bowen

Lesson 2 Email: 5-Hour Dilemma

Dear Class,
I hope you are having a beautiful Friday. Remember to get everything submitted on time tomorrow, before 11:59 pm.
I posted an announcement about the love letter essays just now--I have graded your work, and I hope you will review my announcement and my personal feedback on your essay in the gradebook.
On To the 5-Hour Dilemma: I have received a few emails from students requesting more specific feedback on the love letters--specifically, justification for missing points-- and I feel torn about it. I want you to understand my dilemma: While I would love to provide extensive feedback on your work (marking passages I love, and identifying trouble spots that need more grammar/punctuation attention--then sending your marked essays back to you) I just cannot. These short assignments are opportunities to demonstrate your writing skills, and I'll award you points according to the rubric. I'll also leave a brief note for you in the comments box for every short essay assignment.
I am expected to grade all of your short assignments within 5 hours each week, which equates to 10 minutes per student essay. Can you see how this is a challenge? I went over that 5-hour limit by several hours this week, and I'll need your understanding as I try to achieve something closer to that expectation.
When you submit your two major essays (the persuasive essay and the personal narrative), I will be very happy to post comments on your essays. I'm actually only supposed to add one extra hour total during the weeks I grade those essays, but I'll do more than that.
So how can you get more substantive feedback? You may submit your work to the Writing Center, and ask for specific feedback. For example, if I suggested that you examine your comma use in your Love Letter, you may ask for help identifying comma concerns in your essay drafts. You may submit your essay to the Writing Center a few times during the week. You may ask for specific help from your peers at Gatherings. You may ask your loved ones for feedback as well.
I promise to be prayerful as I read, grade, and comment on your work. I want to help you succeed, and I'll work to center my feedback on the most important things.
Sincerely,
Sister Bowen

Lesson 2 Announcement: Love Letters Graded

Dear Class,

I have graded all of your love letters (excpet Diana's, for technology glitch reasons). I made comments about every essay, and I determined scores based on the rubric and my email admonition to use MLA formatting. Please review the rubric and my feedback. If you lost points in the last row of the rubric, it could be for two reasons:

1) Your paper wasn't completely polished, and needs more grammar/punctuation/typo attention or

2) Your paper didn't honor the MS Word MLA formatting I asked you to use for this assignment.

Overall, your papers were as well-written as anything I have seen students write in Advanced Writing classes. You are incredible writers! As you keep reviewing and applying the grammar and punctuation rules, and work to make everything you write matter, your work will get even better.

Sincerely,

Sister Bowen