Thursday, May 23, 2013

Course-wide feedback on River Tooth Essays, Lesson 4

Dear Class,
I'll give you each individual feedback on your river tooth essays by the end of the week, but these are the things I wanted to share with you collectively right now:
 
1) Word length: Work to meet the length requirements. Many of you have written in your journals about how it is so hard to meet the length requirements. I understand how you feel!
A few days ago, I wrote a personal statement to go along with my application; I had a word length requirement to deal with, just like you do. I needed to demonstrate why I was the person for the job, and it was hard to do when I couldn't say everything I wanted to say. So I chopped and revised, and chopped and revised some more.
Also, I am helping my brother condense his personal statement for medical school. The same process is necessary: chop, revise; chop, revise. I understand that this is a difficult process. Do it anyway. It's like lima beans--very good for you. I took one point off river tooth essays that exceeded 500 words. From now on, I'll automatically deduct one point if an essay's word count is not within the specified length window--there will be no more extra 50 word cushion. For the "This I Believe" essay, and for all future essays, work to honor word length requirements. It will make you a more thorough, careful proofreader. I'm not trying to be mean; I just feel like you'll miss out on this challenging aspect of writing if you ignore the length requirements.
 
2) Titles: Please write titles for all of your essays. Think about them for a while, and select the "perfect" title for each piece. This is part of the writing process, and titles make your essays even better.
 
3) Commas: Keep reviewing comma rules. I have studied them for a lot of my life, and I am still not a comma master. To use commas with confidence, you'll have to keep reviewing the rules.
 
I am stunned as I read your beautiful writing. You will be ready for future English classes; you will be prepared to write important things as you serve in Heavenly Father's kingdom. Here is what Joseph Smith had to say about writing:
 
"The Art of writing is one of the greatest blessings we enjoy. To cultivate it is our duty, and to use it is our privilege. By these means the thoughts of the heart can act without the body, and the mind can speak without the head, while thousands of miles apart, and for ages after the flesh has mouldered [moldered] back to its mother dust. Beloved reader! have you ever reflected on this simple, this useful, this heavenly blessing! It is one of the best gifts of God to man, and it is the privilege of man to enjoy it" (Joseph Smith, published in The Evening and the Morning Star, September 1832).
 
I pray for your success and happiness! Please let me know if you have any questions, concerns, or insights after reading this.
Love,
Sister Bowen

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